Letting Go

Nothing could have prepared me for this day.  The day that I have been anticipating since she was born.  I left our first born in Kindergarten.  It felt so strange to walk her down the long yellow hallway to her class where she would meet 23 other children and 3 teachers, where I would leave her for 7 hours trusting that she would find her way to the right bus and finally home to me.

I laid in bed the night before Kindergarten crying about what was about to happen.  I was letting her go.  I have been with her to witness every big moment, every first for the last 6 years and now some one else gets to be there.  Someone else will watch her learn to sound out new words, make up stories and play pretend on the play ground.  Letting go is hard.



I left her classroom in tears as I said goodbye.  They were tears not only of sadness as this chapter of our lives is closing but, tears of pride.  I couldn't be more proud of who our daughter is.  I pray that her love for Jesus will shine to the other students.  She has a gift of nurturing like no other and I pray that that will be used for good in her kindergarten class and beyond.  So thankful that God has entrusted me to be Kyrie's mommy.

 A sweet goodbye

The reunion at the bus stop couldn't have been better.  She and Brooks ran to each others arms (he even cried with happiness) as they were squirted with silly string.  She was bouncing up and down excited to tell me how great her first day was.  Her favorite part was the bus, she ate all of her lunch and had fun building with blocks during centers.  She only missed me once and her teacher made her feel much better.  Oh sweet girl, we are so proud of how brave you are.

Ice Cream You Scream...

Sunday was a big day. I dreaded taking Olivia to church because for the past week I haven't been able to step out of the room without her crying. She has also gone to waking up multiple times a night again. Brad decided he would drop her in nursery to make the separation easier. Well, when I picked her up she was running around happily playing. This is a first. Usually she is being held by a volunteer and its obviously she has been crying. 

To top off our great morning at church they had a bunch of ice cream trucks out side to celebrate the last Sunday of summer.  Perfect morning.

iPhone Dump

Trying to soak up every last moment of summer before Kyrie starts kindergarten, Brooks starts his new preschool and I go back to work.  Therefore I haven't taken out the camera much and have had no motivation to blog about any deep adoption related emotional stuff.

So here is a simple iPhone photo dump post.

 

Trip to the zoo

 

My redneck family.  Brad and Olivia on the lawnmower racing Brooks and Ky on

the power wheels.

 

Sissy love in the car

 

Mrs. Mindy trying to pull Kyrie's tooth

Kyrie's first sleepover at a friends with 4 friends.  They had cupcakes and sang in honor of Kyrie's birthday a few weeks before.

 

Telling "scary" stories

 

Reese and Olivia riding in the way back on our spontaneous road trip

Six Months Home

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break."
--An ancient Chinese belief

 

Six months.  It sounds like such a long time yet, the reality is Olivia has only had a family for SIX MONTHS out of her TWENTY months of life.  She is still learning what it means to be loved unconditionally, have your needs met by your parents, to have constant siblings and a forever home.

 

Six months ago today we were handed a scared baby who was experiencing a grief that no child should ever feel.  Her body was tense and she sweated through three layers of clothing.  She continued this for days and at times even months after we first held her. 

 

Six months later I have a daughter who is filled with joy and happiness.  She is well adjusted and confident enough to test boundaries knowing that we will love her any way.  Six months later I have a daughter who has been redeemed and is a loved and cherished member of our family.  The truth is however, her scars of her past are still real.

 

We still struggle with abandonment issues, hunger and food related stress, performing for strangers to get attention and manipulative behavior that a 20 month old should not be smart enough to perform.  Just last night after being away from home for a month I put Olivia to bed and went to check on her a few minutes later.  I found her whimpering in bed covered in sweat.  Our little girl who normally seems so well adjusted gives us glimpse of the memories of her past.  I wonder when, if ever the trauma will be removed from her soul. 

 

For now, we will continue to reassure her that she is ours forever.  She is loved always. 

 

No child should ever have to feel the pain that our daughter experienced.  No child should ever have to live in an orphanage.  Every child deserves the love of a family.

 

We are so fortunate that our God knit our family together.   

 

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

 

Does this verse speak to you?  Does Olivia's story speak to you? 

If so, don't step back and wait for something to happen.  Take a leap of faith.  While I realize adoption isn't for everyone there are many ways to help the fatherless around the world.  Please feel free to contact me if you want to get involved in helping a child in need of a family.

 

 



Our 4th and Final Week in Florida

We started our last week in Florida with a day in the pool.  The kids absolutely love the weekends when Poppie is home to swim.  Poppie has tirelessly worked with Brooks in the pool this summer.  We have not done swim lessons in the past due to his fear of water and how shy he is in new situations.  He couldn't wait to get to Fl and have Poppie help him learn to swim.

 

This kiddo went from being afraid to jump in with floaties or get his face or ears wet to this in just 4 weeks!  We are so so proud!

 

 

That same day, with Poppie's guidance,  Kyrie perfected her dive.

 

The kids enjoyed a Monday afternoon of golfing with Poppie while Nana, Olivia and I went antiquing.  It was my first afternoon off crutches.  Long story but, saw a doctor down here and the stress fracture was a misdiagnosis.  I have a whole bunch of soft tissue damage that needs addressing at home.

 

My first morning off crutches Nana had to go back to work for a training.  The kids and I headed back to the splash park and to the playground.  It helped get my confidence up at bit about heading home with this injury.

 

 

To wrap up the week we celebrated Kyrie's Birthday, a trip to the beach and of course a huge celebration when we picked up daddy from the airport.

What  a sweet time we had in Florida.  So so sad to say goodbye.

 

Beach

I love the beach and was seriously bummed that I was on crutches this summer so we couldn't go play in the sand.  When I went to the doctor on Monday and heard I could ditch the crutches the first thing I said to my mom was, "we are going to the beach".

We woke up to clouds, rain and wind.  That wasn't stopping us.  Neither did the life guard warnings of rip currents and unsafe waters. 

We may have left exhausted from chasing children out of the water but, we were bound and determined to enjoy our only trip to the beach this summer.  The kids loved searching for shells, watching coquinas burry themselves, digging in the sand and having us chase them in and out of the water.

 

She spotted "KyKy" "Buddy" and "Nana" down the beach

 

It's not often that my boy lets me take his picture.  Today he was feeling quite comfortable having his picture taken and I took full advantage.

 

This guy doesn't have an easy job.  He is sandwiched right between two sisters and holds the role of only boy .  He is so so special and has my heart completely.  I love that I got to capture some of his sweetness and silliness too.  My heart just melts when I see this sweet face. 

 



Six

Six years ago, my dream of becoming a mommy came true.  I held my beautiful daughter and my world changed forever.  I am so proud to be Kyrie's mommy.  She is a child with a huge heart for others, who loves God and amazes us each day.  We are so proud as we watch how she cares for her younger siblings. When in public she is constantly complimented by strangers on what a nurturing sister she is.  Kyrie is about to start Kindergarten and we can't wait to watch her blossom this year.

Like usual, Kyrie was up by 6:00am on her birthday.  She came out of her room all dressed and had even dressed her brother in "handsome clothes".  She couldn't wait one second longer to open gifts but, I did my best to stall her.  We finally Skyped daddy at 6:30 am so he could enjoy watching her open her gifts.

 

Later in the morning our friends Jennifer, Katie, Kylie and their cousin Jake come for a swim.

 Brooks was worried Olivia was swimming in the deep water and went to rescue her

 

We had a quiet afternoon at home

 

Girl after my own heart.  Loves word searches.

 

 

When Nana and Poppie were finished working for the day we ordered Kyrie's request of Chinese food and had a nice celebration.

 

 

 Notice the iPad.  Daddy was there for the evening celebration too.

 

Baby girl ate every. last. crumb.

 

 

Happy Birthday sweet girl  We love you!