Wednesday, March 13, 2013


This week I have been forced to learn about Grace and it has revealed a lot about myself that I don't necessarily feel to graceful about.  I am selfish, I crave "me time", I love sleep and I like quiet and routine.  Those aren't things you get a lot of with three small children. 

It started last Tuesday when Brooks came home from school with a headache which quickly turned to a flu like virus.  Within a day the virus hit Kyrie.  Sick kids mixed with a non-sleeping toddler who terrorizes the house during the day equaled one mom who was stretched very thin.  The weekend came and some relief came as daddy helped but, when kids are sick they want mom.  Guilt set in as I had to pass over some duties of caring for the sickies that I would normally take care of.  Olivia is still not okay with daddy caring for her.  He is a play mate at this point and that is is.  This means I still have sole night duty with her and therefore daddy took care of the big kids at night. 

This was the scene at our house for 6 days.  Notice the baracade to keep Olivia away from the sickies.

On top of that, my best friend came to town on Saturday with her beautiful baby girl.  This was most certainly for pleasure but also because Brad was taking his first business trip since we brought Olivia home and Jes was here to offer company.  Unfortunately mixed with sickness and a 3.5 year old that is not handling having a new sister as well as we hoped the timing wasn't so perfect.  Brooks regressed about 10 steps backward and his adjustment into big brother role.  He became very angry and was easily set into rages.  I tried to have patience and grace but, it was certainly a challenge.  So thankful for a forgiving friend who validated my parenting through some of the toughest times as a mom I have ever faced. 

Sweet babies, future BFF's set for a walk on the greenway
 He really does love his little sis

Muffins with mommy singing and dancing

 Poor boy being carried off by his teacher.  His little heart just couldn't sing today.  He did give me a private show at the park later in the morning.
 My 3 babies.  Brooks was not feeling like a picture today.

Our pastor David Chadwick always says kids spell love T-I-M-E.  I believe this is truth.  So today I chose time.  Today I am thankful for prayer, a mom who will listen to be vent and for the sweet friend who brought me a bottle of wine to school.  I know this time will pass I just pray it is soon.  I sure do miss my happy little man. 

***I struggled with whether or not to post this.  I never want Brooks to look back on this and be embarrased or ashamed.  However, this blog is a way for me to remember these times and I know some day what we are struggling with now will be a distant memory.  The adoption community has been such a support to me through our journey and if my story of our struggles helps another mom, it is all worth it. 


  1. (((HUGS))). T-I-M-E is so very true and it seems like FOREVER! Our then 3-year old didn't do well at first when we brought home her 2-year old sister (they are 14-months apart in age). Lots of regressing and aggression mixed in with also playing-- but in a bossy way. We used strategies in the book "1-2-3 Magic" in conjunction with spending one-on-one time with our older daughter. It took about 4-months before her behavior really started to let up-- by 6-months I don't think she could really remember not having a little sister. Definitely find ways to have time for yourself-- it IS NOT selfish. That time to yourself is just as much for the benefit of your children as it is for you.

  2. He won't be embarrassed. It's a natural reaction to no longer being the baby in the family father 3 + years. Being a mama is hard - being completely outnumbered all day long is even harder and being a mama with sick kids is a level of hell on earth that has no description. You're doing an amazing job. You've got this. Xo.