Thursday, August 30, 2012

Waiting is Hard

Waiting is hard to matter what.  I have know for a long time that waiting and patience are my weakness.  When we struggled with not getting pregnant right away with Kyrie I became frusterated quickly.  Thoughts of pregnancy and "what if's" consumed my mind.  When we waited for our house to be built and I wasn't sure if our rental contract would end, I obsessed over the "what if's".  I waited to make our TK/K decision for Kyrie and again the "what if's" filled my mind.

I have waited nearly 20 years to begin this adoption process and here I find myself in a constant pattern of waiting.  We waited to move to SC so we could begin our homestudy.  We waited 2 months for our social worker to finally write up the home study so we could move forward with paper work.  We have waited for birth certificates to arrive, authentications, and deadlines. 

And now.....Now, I find myself in the hardest waiting place I have ever been.  We are done with our paperwork, we have filled out all of the grant forms, we have ended our t-shirt fundraiser, our yardsale is complete.  But, we have nothing to show for the blood, sweat and tears.  I have prayed  daily to God for 4 months to show me my daughter's face and NOTHING.  We are patiently waiting for a referral.  I am trusing God that through this I will FINALLY learn that when he makes us wait it is because he plan is greater than ours. 

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."  Romans 5:3-4

1 comment:

  1. 59+hang in there my friend... sweet kai lan is out there waiting for you